Friday, December 12, 2008

I thought there was more to this
than a simple "one time" sort of thing
I thought there was something beautiful
a feeling of goodness
Yes, confusion is involved
as it always is when something somewhat new is sprouting
The changes have been made
I will never be the person you used to know 
My moods, my motives, have shifted
Away from control
Away from judgement
I am a positive beam of light now
I'm not saying that I'm not sad,
My heart is dizzy from spinning so much
going up and down in increments so fast,
I can hardly remember where it was last
But what touches me is just looking at your smile
Your touch,
the conversations,
The simple things
Those are the things I want.
The things I love.
Complicated immaturity
has been left in the dust
I would never go back to that.
But I see something, in the new,
the changes, they draw me in
If I could be with that smile
that touch,
those conversations
without barriers, quarrel, and immaturity
There would be nothing holding me back
Maybe it's not me that has held onto the past,
maybe it's not you either
I'm not sure what it is,
but I know that what I feel isn't just  a trip,
an opinion, a overexageration
What I feel is true
It is deep, new even
It's the feeling I've been waiting to feel
And I'm sure it has something to do with the changes I have felt growing within me
Out onto the surface, 
my changes noticing yours
Smiling at each other, even when trying to hold back
I won't stop smiling, not when I have the simple things
The simple things with you
Even if things aren't solid, or definite
The simple things don't have to be complicated
They aren't going to hold us back
I won't hold you back anymore
I will help push you forward,
while smiling at you by your side
or from afar
My smile is a result of you, 
your simple actions which show no fury
no tangles, no worries
I just don't want to lose yesterday
Simply yesterday with you,
I would be satisfied with that.

1 comment:

TruthPrevail said...

This is very encouraging. Your words can be powerfully encouraging, as your writing seems to be accurately depicted as a river of your emotions.

But, I am trying as well, to change into something that can enjoy the little things instead of questioning them endlessly. Ironically, we might end up somewhere completely different even then...