how delightfully terrifying life can be. it's a series of choices and you have to remind yourself over and over again that life is only going to be as good as you make it. i've been stuck in this rut of pessimism for far too long. i woke up this morning with a feeling of unknowingness, i do not know who i have become. i'm ready not to go back to the way i was before, but to get back on the right track, living and enjoying every ounce of what's around me. i've been spending far too much time thinking about what's just out of grasp, beating myself up because i'm not as smart, or as beautiful, but that's just it, there's no reason for me to compare myself to others when no one person is comparable to another. i woke up and looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. my back has been killing me all day, but i can still walk. i can still sing. i have to be thankful for what i can do instead of what i can't.

i know this is completely different than most of my posts, but this is more or less for my own reasons. it's not meant to be beautiful or poetic. it's just the externalization of my current thoughts.