and i feel dead because i'm not really living my life, just what everyone else considers living. i don't like following a plan, but what else would i do? i want to set my foot on every inch of the earth, yet i've lived in indiana my entire life. i feel like i'm inside of a cage and you just won't stop talking no matter how loud i yell. i hate when you talk about him like that and i hate when he talks about you like that. i never want to hear it. i can't even look at you in the face without snapping myself in half and it's funny because you are never there to pick up the pieces.

i'm content on my own, even in times like these, but that doesn't mean i don't miss you. and it's better to feel loved than to feel alone even if you want no one else around. i want to count the raindrops on the window before they're all gone. it's like the sky is crying a battle for how many tears it can shed and it always wins no matter how big of a puddle i leave on the floor yet no matter where the tears come from, they evaporate the same.