[3rd piece of my incomplete book]

I woke up in a daze.
As if my dream were reality,
just whipped away from me as my eyes open
Now it's only a memory,
but not in the truest form.
I woke up in a daze.
All I could think about was sharing this dream with you.
I felt that I already had, but it was only a dream, my dream.
I somehow hoped that this dream occurred to the both of us,
in the same space and time of our minds,
but that's just hope.
What is hope anyway?
Do our souls dream?
If that were the case,
I'd believe that we could have shared it.
Would that make it a memory?
The chances of that connection are slim to none.
I know you well enough to know you don't sleep.
You lie there restlessly,
just waiting for the night to be over.
You hate when the sun goes down
It reminds you of your inability,
Your restlessness.
You always feel like you're wasting your time.
I wish you knew dreams like I do.
It's what I look forward to.
I know your insomnia like the back of my hand.
The hand that falls asleep beneath your anxious body
I always fall asleep before you shut your eyes
I always wake up to the smell of your coffee
That is why I wasn't surprised to roll over to an empty bed.
Well, besides the book you read on repeat night after night
It helps you forget that you are awake amidst a sleeping town
I wonder if you read to the rhythm of my breaths
Each word, in and out,
I wonder if that is what you call sleep
Inhale, exhale, soak in the meaning
That morning my mind told me you were downstairs writing
You're always writing in your leather-bound book.
My heart told me different.
I felt a hole.
A part of me leaking out.
Internally bleeding away my happiness, my soul.
My stomach dropped two hundred stories
I puked out my disbelief
I know she's gone. I can feel it.
More or less, I stopped feeling.
All I want is to feel the small of her back,
as she climbs into bed with her coffee every morning
Should I go back to sleep and pretend this isn't happening?
Will that make her come back?
It's all a dream.
Am I still asleep?
I'll be asleep until I see her again.